


Verdict: Tempus Fuck You

by INMH



Category: Final Fantasy Type-0, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Spoilers, Strong Language, can u tell how much i liked type 0's ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 13:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4307238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sora’s ending this crappy groundhog-day story before it starts again. And apparently he knows what memes are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Verdict: Tempus Fuck You

**Author's Note:**

> The ending of Type 0 hit me just a little hard.

Arecia looked at her newly revived children and sighed.  
  
The cycle- or rather, the _current_ cycle- was complete. How many millions of times had they repeated this? How many times more would they, until Class Zero could become Agito? Even she couldn’t truly know- the choices they had to make would have to be made of their own volition, and for the last 600,104,972 times, they had made the wrong ones. Maybe they’d be doing this dance forever.  
  
“Ah well,” Arecia waved her hand, the smoke from her cigarette twisting in the air. “There’s always another cycle, and always another tiny change in its events. Perhaps this time things will be different.”  
  
“Nope!”  
  
She turned to see a brunette boy, a teenager not much older or younger than her children, standing behind her. His arms were crossed, his eyes were wide and intense, and his mouth was set in a tight line.  
  
“Who are you?” Arecia asked, enunciating each word carefully, one eyebrow raised.  
  
“Nope!” The boy repeated. “Nope, nope, and nope. Not telling you my name, not telling you where I’m from, and you’re not going to be putting these guys through another cycle.”  
  
Her other eyebrow shot up too. “Excuse me?”  
  
The boy walked past her without so much as sparing her a glance. “They are precious cinnamon rolls that are too good and pure for your bullshit.”  
  
“And?”  
  
“You can’t be trusted with them, so we’re taking them.”  
  
“‘We’?” Arecia repeated.  
  
The boy was inspecting Machina and Seven and didn’t even turn to look at her. “Is there an echo?”  
  
“Taking them where?”  
  
That time he did look up, frowning. “None of your business, that’s where.”  
  
“Why, again?”  
  
The boy rolled his eyes. “Because they are _precious cinnamon rolls that are too good and pure for your bullshit_ , which they’ve endured over 600 million times. They’d had enough. You want to open Etro’s gate, you can find a different way. The place I’m taking them isn’t perfect, but at least the fucking groundhog day crap they’ve been doing here will be done and over with.”  
  
“I see.” Arecia was skeptical as to what exactly this boy intended to do. What, was he going to drag them all outside by their ankles? Did he really think she would just _let_ him? Did he think her that stupid?  
  
The boy pulled a phone out of his pocket, hit a couple of buttons, and then said into the receiver, “Beam us up, Scotty!”  
  
“ _Who the heck is Scotty?_ ” A strange, incredibly nasal voice squawked in response.  
  
But then there was a flash of light and, in only a few seconds, they had all disappeared: The boy, and all of her children with them.  
  
Arecia stood for a moment, silent and, for the first time in a long time, more than a bit shocked. Several millions of fruitless cycles flashed before her eyes, and she realized that her greatest assets had just disappeared into thin air with that deranged young man.  
  
“…Damn it.”  
   
[---]  
   
On the Gummi Ship, thing were only slightly less confusing. Donald and Goofy were still not entirely clear on why they had just acquired fourteen unconscious teenagers- or why Sora was currently setting their navigation system for the Radiant Gardens.  
  
“Sora, did we just kidnap a bunch of kids?” Donald squawked hesitantly.  
  
“Yes, yes we did.” Sora responded, eyes fixated on the windshield.  
  
“Gawrsh, ain’t that illegal?” Goofy inquired  
  
“In most places, yeah.”  
  
They were silent for a moment, hoping that he would elaborate, but nothing happened. “So, uh… Why’d we do it?” Donald inquired.  
  
“Because the kids on that floor are fourteen precious cinnamon rolls that are too good and pure for the bullshit they were enduring.”  
  
More silence.  
  
Eventually, Donald and Goofy just opted to stay silent. Sora got like this sometimes- they just didn’t usually kidnap a bunch of kids when it happened, though. Whatever the case, it was better to go with the flow than to argue. Leon would probably do plenty of that when they landed anyways.  
   
[---]  
   
Ace was the first to wake up.  
  
And really, despite all the weird _hell_ he’d been through, he had to say that waking up in a space-ship, piloted by someone younger than him, with a talking dog and a talking duck standing over him was the peak of it all.  
  
He turned to the pilot.  
  
“Who are you?”  
  
“Name’s Sora! This is Donald and Goofy.” The duck and dog waved obligingly.  
  
Ace stared at them, and then back to Sora. “Right… Okay… So… Where are you taking us?”  
  
“HAPPINESS, THAT’S WHERE.”  
   
-End?


End file.
